Slippery Slopes…

A couple of weeks ago, we wrote a “Personal Constitution”; a list of three things that we will never do, and three things that we will always do. I had no idea how soon that list of items would be put to the test. 

I have always prided myself on my integrity. I would rather get in trouble for telling the truth than skate by on a lie. It was just natural to put integrity at the top of my list. I didn’t even give it a second thought. 

Until this week.

I am really struggling in one of my classes. It’s presented in a style that is just not compatible with my learning style.  We are half-way through, and some of the assignments may as well be in a foreign language. We had a project due on Friday and I was in BIG TROUBLE. 

The assignment was on an Excel document with tons of different formulas and formats. One of the stipulations was that we could not ask for assistance from anyone but the instructor. I read the directions, I asked for additional assistance from the instructor, I watched the tutorial he provided so many times I think I have it memorized. I googled, I watched YouTube videos… I was still lost.

I have a good friend who is a master at Excel! She can take any reporting issue and come up with a way to make it make sense in Excel. I have never been so tempted in my life! I thought that I could create the document and then just have her take a look at it to make sure I was on the right path- what harm could that do? If this were truly my own business, I would have the ability to run things by a second set of eyes… Then my thoughts kept going. What if I just did MOST of the formulas, and then asked her to help me with the more difficult ones? I would still be learning, and that was the purpose of the class isn’t it? As I stepped back and saw the slippery slope I was considering, I was shocked at how fast my plan of action almost became a reality! 

The wisdom if the personal constitution has never been so clear. Today, I may simply be asking for help with an assignment, but once that line has been crossed, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes easier to rationalize other things. 

No, I didn’t ask my friend for help; but I DID ask for some additional time which was granted- there is always a way to get the job done and keep your integrity intact! Although this lesson may have not been on the assignment list for this week, I still think it was the most valuable one I learned!

I get up when I fall down

I’m a klutz. It’s not a secret, everyone who has ever met me can tell you this. I trip over air. One time, I was in a meeting with one of the head honchos of the company I work for.  I dropped my pen, and without thinking about it, I reached down to pick it up and fell out of my chair! One thing I am proud of, is that I always get up, laugh it off, and keep going.

I like to think that I do the same thing in life. Sometimes it’s harder to get back up than others, sometimes I may need a little bit of help; occasionally, I need to rub my bruised ego a little, but I always get back up.

The past few weeks, I have been feeling pretty battered. As I wallowed in all of the trials and heartaches I have had to deal with in the past year, I was having a really hard time trying to move on. I have reached the place where I just wanted to stop trying. It’s too hard. I can’t do it. It’s not worth it. It hurts too much.  I knew who was whispering in my ear, but I was having a hard time tuning him out.

Today, I read a talk that James E Faust gave a few years ago. In it, he talks about perseverance. He tells the story of when Brother Snow drowned in the Pacific Ocean. It was only through perseverance, that his companions were able to bring him back. He went on to tell the story of Alma Smith, who was shot in the hip at Haun’s Mill, and Brigham Young, bringing the saints across the plains to Salt Lake City. Other stories began running through my head. I remembered all of the adversity that my ancestors faced.

The issues I am dealing with is nothing compared to their trials. Yet they didn’t complain.

President Faust quoted Paul Harvey as saying “Someday I hope to enjoy enough of what the world calls success so that someone will ask me, ‘What’s the secret of it?’ I shall say simply this: ‘I get up when I fall down.”

Time to get back up!





In other thoughts...

This week, I was watching a BYU-I devotional. The speaker was talking about how being an entrepreneur is more about the journey than the destination. How do we measure success? He proposed that it comes down to three questions.

1.       Have I contributed something meaningful?

2.       Am I a good person?

3.       Who did I love, and who loved me?

I really feel strongly that he is correct. Creating a business is not about how much money you make each quarter, it’s not about the cars you drive, the jet in the hanger, or the rock on your finger. It all comes down to those three questions. If you can't answer these questions, you need to get back up, and try again.

Secrets

I have a secret. Promise not to tell and I’ll let you in on it. 

Before taking this class, I had no desire whatsoever to create and own my own business. When I was choosing my major, I had to choose an emphasis. I decided that entrepreneurial management would give me the broadest background, so I went for it. I almost backed out when I saw that I would have to take this class. I didn’t want to integrate my “dreams, values, and future plans and undertake the ultimate act of entrepreneurship: building a life of meaning” as described in the syllabus. I was happy working for someone else, and didn’t see a need to create my own business. (For the record, I was interested in the strategies for staying true when I want to quit. Been there. Wanted to do that!) The last thing I wanted was to do some soul searching for a degree I still wasn’t sure I wanted, but felt inspired to obtain. I don’t know why- but I’m sure the reason will be made clear when it’s time. 

This week, I was reading a book called “The Ministry of Business”, by Steven A. Hitz with James W. Ritchie. They provide some insight on how they each became successful in their business and professional lives. Two things that really resonated with me is the amount of times they referred to service, or giving back to others, and the confirmation that careers can be inspired of God.  Each of them discovered that these are vital ingredients to becoming successful. This was something I had instinctively felt all along, but couldn't put into words.

As I was reading, I began to feel something inside. Maybe I can do this… Maybe I can learn the skills needed to create something that will help and bless the lives of others. Maybe, I’m not completely crazy and really am worthy to feel divine inspiration to lead me down the path that He would see me take.

LIfelong Learning

Lifelong Learning. What does that mean? 

Until recently, I thought of it as the “eternal student,” always in school with a wall covered in degrees. When I was growing up, our home teacher’s son was going for a third or fourth degree. When I asked why, I was told he loves school, and loves to learn. I couldn’t comprehend wanting to go to school a single day longer than required. The thought of choosing to go and then PAYING for that privilege was beyond me! 

A few years ago, I decided it was time to continue my education, and went back to school. One of the most important things I have learned from both my professional and educational career is that there are some things that can’t be taught in a classroom or boardroom. 

I have been blessed to work in an environment where professional development is strongly encouraged. I have had several mentors who have taught me basic tasks, as well as more complicated duties. Each position I have held has taught me more about the field of management and how to lead others. 

This training has been invaluable, however there are more important things to learn. Some of life’s most important lessons have to be experienced. The past two years have been full of these lessons. 

What have I learned? 

Compassion for a friend going through a difficult time. 

Love and forgiveness toward someone who has hurt me.

Judge not, lest ye be not judged.

Fake it 'til you make it! Put one foot in front of the other and keep going- it will be worth it someday. 

The only one whose opinion really matters is the Lord.

I’m not alone. My Father in Heaven has a plan for me and has laid out the path. I may not like it, or think I’m ready for it, but He knows me better than I know myself.

Those are a few of the most important lessons I have learned. Most were very painful, all of them were worth it.  As I was thinking about this blog, one of my favorite songs began playing. The words are so fitting, telling the story of those who have learned from their struggles. 

Hilary Weeks- “Beautiful Heartbreak”  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyX-I-um5Kk

I had it all mapped out in front of me
Knew just where I wanted to go
But life decided to change my plans
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road
I knew there was no way to move it
So I searched for a way around
Broken-hearted I started climbing
And at the top I found

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through
Was the price that I paid to see this view
Now that I'm here I would never trade
The grace that I feel and the faith that I find
Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights
I used to pray He'd take it all away
But instead it became
A beautiful heartbreak

I never dreamed my heart would make it
And I thought about turning around
But Heaven has shown me miracles
I never would have seen from the ground
Now I take the rain with the sunshine
Cause there's one thing that I know
He picks up the pieces
Along each broken road

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through
Was the price that I paid to see this view
Now that I'm here I would never trade
The grace that I feel and the faith that I find
Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights
I used to pray He'd take it all away
But instead it became
A beautiful heartbreak

Although I am in school, this is not where I am learning my most valuable lessons. I know that my Father in Heaven has much to teach me. I’ll do my best to learn His lessons.

 I am a lifelong learner.